Some Weeks are Longer Than Others

Every have one of those weeks that seems to last forever? Where Monday feels like a year ago? 

That was this week. It’s a beautiful Friday  night and I’m sitting here feeling like the past week has dragged on for a year. 

I’m not sure why. The week was extremely busy. It feels like I barely had a minute to rest. Usually weeks like this go by lightning quick. 

The perception of time is such an odd thing. As my grandparents got older they kept telling me that the older they got, the faster time seemed to move. I always thought that was funny considering that they kept doing less and less as they got older. I would have thought the exact opposite perception of time would be the case. 

The perception of time continues to highlight the need to (try to) stay focused on the moment. It’s easy to get caught up on the to do list of things to come, or to ponder things already past. Floods of information and images come at us from all over, TV, internet, radio. It’s more difficult than ever to stay present and focused on the here and now. 

Maybe this week is a good reminder to step up my efforts and to keep focused on what’s right in front of my face!

Tonight was a good test

In recent weeks my car has been in the shop 3 times for brake line issues (they brake lines have all rusted out, 1 by 1). 

The entire brake system is new, lines, rotors, pads, fluid. 

Tonight while driving to visit a friend the brake hit the floor again, and again there was fluid pouring out of the rear of the car. 

Thankfully traffic was light, and there was just enough brake to stop the car (along with the transmission). 

So tomorrow the car will go back to the shop for a 4th time. The last 3 times were just age – rust specifically (it’s a NY/northern US thing). But this time it appears something was done wrong with the installation last month. 

I’m very frustrated. It’s not the end of the world. I’m safely home, and I will have the car towed into the shop again (I feel like the tow truck driver is becoming a member of the family). 

Life is very busy, especially in the spring. Tomorrow night I have 3 kids doing 3 different things in 3 different places all at the same time. I have 2 jobs to get to. Uber and Lyft won’t be operational in NY until July at the earliest. 

When I saw the pool of fluid under the newly repaired area of brake lines, I wanted to cry. Then I wanted to drive my car through the front wall of the shop. 

In the past this kind of thing would have distracted and frustrated me all night, and likely into the next day. 

But that’s not what happened. Yes, I was frustrated and angry for a short while. But I am committed to controlling those emotions and not letting them rule me. 

Tonight was a good test. Could I break my old habit? Have I begun to absorb my readings on stoicism? Could I apply the lessons learned from cognitive behavioral therapy?

The answer is a resounding yes. After the initial period of anger and frustration I dropped it from my mind. The car will be towed tomorrow and fixed. Worrying about it is pointless. Getting angry about it robs me of the time I have (or had) tonight. 

I’m far from perfect, but I’ve come a long way, and for that I’m very proud.