Writing is Tough Work

I’m currently collaborating on an eBook with my best friend and while it sounded easy to bang out in theory – it’s a real struggle to get things right. I’m finding myself editing things constantly and making numerous changes to both grammar and content. 

I’m aware that good writing is tough and time consuming and I’m grateful that we picked a topic about which I am passionate. I think my biggest issue is the same thing I’ve faced with my blogs and Facebook and Twitter, which is that I don’t think my writing is good enough, or that there are so many more talented people out there who can write things better than I. 

It’s an interesting paradox how the internet allows anyone to compete on a global stage, but it also opens us up to competition on a global scale. While this scares me, it also excites me for success will be that much sweeter knowing that we dipped our toes in a huge pond and didn’t sink. 

I wrote late into the night last night and at the end went to bed discouraged that I wasn’t making as much progress as I hoped. This morning I had to remind myself that these things will have peaks and valley’s and that in order to succeed I will have to keep my head on straight and press on.

So I suppose I should stop fooling around here and get back to it!

Honor Despite Tragedy

Over the Christmas holiday there was a terrible fire in an old house in Stamford, Conn that claimed the lives of 3 children and their two grandparents. The children’s mother barely escaped. Obviously this is an unspeakable tragedy, but as the fire department is uncovering what happened, it has come to light that the 71 year old grandfather died trying to rescue one of his grandchildren and in fact died merely inches from the child. From what firefighters can tell the grandfather was either going through a window to get the child or was trying to get the child out through it. 

While many (or most) of us will die in our sleep or in a hospital or in some other benign manner, this gentleman died with honor – a hero’s death. From the sounds of it he could easily have escaped the inferno, but he chose to try and save one of his grandchildren. None of us know how we will react when we are faced with a terrifying situation, but this 71 year old man proved to be exactly that – a man, one willing to give his life for another. 

The news media fills our screens and minds with tales of murders and kidnappings and other terrible crimes but rarely do we hear about something good and noble such as a person giving their life to save another. This fire is an unspeakable tragedy, one that the mother will likely never recover from, but out of it came the opportunity for 1 man to die honorably. It is a solemn reminder that there are good people in the world willing to stand up and be counted with it matters most. 

God Speed to such a man of honor. 

The Meaning of Christmas (to me anyway)

It’s the day after Christmas 2011 and I’m finding myself very happy and content with this holiday season. Our kids received most of the items on their Christmas lists and their reaction Christmas morning was priceless. We are truly blessed to have happy, healthy and well-adjusted kids. 

As the holidays wore on, I heard some of the stories from other parents about footing the bill for expensive gifts for their kids such as TV’s or other electronics, or other items like brand name clothes or apparel and it really made me stop and think; do I remember any of the Christmas gifts I received as a kid?  

For the most part, the answer is no. I think remember some things here and there – my first radio or a new basketball, but for all those years and all those gifts, I really don’t think I can remember any one in particular. 

It’s not that I’m ungrateful or senile, quite the opposite is true. I always appreciate the gesture of someone giving me a gift no matter how big or small and I think that’s simply because I do truly appreciate the gesture and the effort it took someone to go out of their way to make me happy. 

The strange thing about my mental journey to Christmas’s past was that although I had few memories of specific gifts, I had many clear memories of people, feelings, smells and sounds. I can still smell breakfast cooking Christmas morning and I can still remember the sound of my sisters running around trying to figure out of Santa had come. I remember Christmas dinner and the warmth of being around those I love. I remember being thankful that I had a family and a warm home and food and people who cared about me, things not everyone had.

If you hang around enough old people you eventually hear them say that they wish they had realized when they were young that money didn’t matter and their careers didn’t matter and the size of their house didn’t matter and that if they could do things over they would spend more time with their kids and the people they loved. I’ve always been fascinated by that mentality and that it takes so many people so long to really understand it. 

Our kids had a good Christmas filled with presents, food, and lots of love from family and friends. It will be interesting 20 years from now to see if they remember what they got this Christmas, if they remember how they felt.

Smoking

This morning at the gas station I was behind a woman in line who was purchasing cigarettes. She asked for1 pack and the clerk rang them up and handed them to her. I glanced over at the total on the register and it was almost $10. I almost fell on the floor – $10!

I don’t smoke and I don’t ever notice the prices for cigarette’s or anything related to smoking and while I was aware of taxes being raised on them from time to time, I can honestly say I didn’t realize the price per pack was almost $10.

Besides being shocked, I was also a little sad for this woman – she was young and attractive and she just plunked down a small fortune for something that will likely kill her or at least cause adverse health issues over time. I felt sad because it was so crazy to watch her pay that much for those cigarette’s but she did it anyway, and so do lots of other people, every day. I felt sad because of the grip those cigarette’s have on her. I know smokers say they like it and all that, but there must be many who are addicted and can’t stop and are thus forced to pay through the nose to feed their habit.

To be clear – I like taxing the living snot out of cigarette’s – it’s a terrible habit with known side effects ranging from annoying to horrible, ask anyone who has had a loved one die from emphysema how they feel about smoking. It’s a horrible way to die and a horrible thing to watch. 

I don’t know why this stuck me as sad, or why it even caught my attention, but it did. I’ll admit that I have a unhealthy interest in diet Mountain Dew, but it’s become more of a treat than a habit over the years and it likely won’t kill me or cause any horrible health problems.

I can’t imagine plopping down $10 to get a fix – I’m sure quitting is not pleasant either. Given all that we know about smoking it’s hard to understand why people keep doing it, especially those that are young and should know better by now. Whatever the case it still seems sad to see someone who is a slave to a very expensive and deadly habit.

Pure Evil

There has to be evil so that good can prove its purity above it.
Buddha

Last night around 1am in a house not far from mine, a 15 year old boy poured gasoline all over the house, lit it on fire and left. The fire dept arrived to find a father and 2 sons dead, a daughter and mother injured. The 2 dead boys were children of middle school age. 

The quote above came to mind as I heard this story unfold today. While it’s possible that the boy who lit his house on fire intending to kill his family may me mentally ill, it strikes me as an act of pure evil. The news reports said that the boy was troubled and that some who knew the family feared something bad would one day befall the family. 

There is plenty of evil in the world, and there is plenty of good. At the moment it’s hard to understand the good in this situation – perhaps that not all family members died? Perhaps that no firemen or other rescuers were injured?  I don’t know. 

Even though the holidays are upon us, it seems like there have been too many reports of evil as of late involving DWI’s, shootings, deadly car accidents and now this. I know there is much good in the world, but sometimes it seems like it’s on vacation. 

This event is unimaginable in it’s depravity and hopefully Buddha was right, and that this kind of evil is necessary, but seeing 3 innocent people die makes it a tough pill to swallow. 

Anger

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.
Buddha

The holidays are a great time of year – fun music, parties, Santa, good food and so on. It also seems to be a time of tension, stress and short tempers. Be it in a crowded store or in a traffic jam, it seems that there’s no shortage of people who have a short temper and for some reason at this time of year it seems to more noticeable to me.

This past weekend I witnessed several horn-blowing, angry-fist shaking incidents in local parking lots and while I certainly understand peoples’ frustration, I’m often left thinking about the quote above.

In the past I’ve been the angry fist-shaking person (or have been on the receiving end of such behavior) and I don’t know where it ever got me. As the quote says, I think I’m the only one that got burned. I strongly suspect the other person didn’t go to bed mad that night and I would suspect they weren’t mad at all – assuming they even noticed my anger at all. 

Anger is certainly a useful emotion when properly channeled – I’m certain our ancestors were able evade being dinner to a wild animal thanks to anger and the fight or flight response, but in modern times it seems to be a less useful emotion. As I’m getting older I’m trying to notice my anger more and to really examine why I’m angry and to ultimately ask myself if I should be angry at all. In a few instances I’ve found myself realizing that there was really no need to be angry – perhaps the person who cut me off in traffic was rushing to be with a loved on in the hospital or perhaps they had an emergency at home. As Buddha suggests I would be the only one getting burned. 

I don’t get angry too often, but whenever I fell it welling up inside me I try to remind myself to examine the need to be angry and whether it’s worth getting burned. While we are currently entering the most joyous time of year, it seems like it would be helpful for people to make a conscious effort to think about their anger and who’s really getting burned.  

Say it like you mean it

Christmas is exactly 3 weeks away. With the holidays and the end of the year (for me) usually comes a little reflection on the year and all that has happened and this year is no different. I’ve had some time to think this weekend and quite honestly I find myself feeling more thankful than usual for where I am and what I have.

This past year has brought (in some cases) severe illness to a couple family members and the new year will begin without a resolution to those issues. A couple other loved one’s have had health scares that have thankfully turned out to be nothing. For whatever reason I’ve also noticed people around me more who are suffering physically either from paralysis or other debilitating diseases and I’ve found myself trying to put myself in their shoes and trying to imagine what it would be like to live in that alternate reality. Even thinking about it is harsh, let alone living it. 

Most importantly I’m thankful to have 3 healthy kids, none of whom have suffered more than a cold in recent memory. It’s unimaginable to me what parents go through when their children are diagnosed with a serious illness or worse. I believe more than anything I’m genuinely thankful that my kids are healthy (a sentiment I’m sure most parents would agree on).

Of course I’m also thankful to have a job (or 2) and to be able to live a decent life and to provide a decent life for my kids, I’ll well aware that an increasing number of people aren’t so fortunate. 

I’m writing this today because I’m really feeling it this year – perhaps because of my 40th birthday on the horizon or perhaps because of the benefit of another year on mother earth, but this year seems to feel different. I’d like to think I’ve always appreciated where I am and what I have, but this year I’m feeling it more deeply and more often. 

At this time of year we hear lots of people say they are thankful and grateful for that they have, but I often question if that’s true or if it’s just another cliche. Do people really appreciate their kids health? Do people really appreciate their own health or do we simply take things for granted until some unfortunate event shakes us out of our complacent attitude?

The Presidential Race

In a little less than a year we will go to the polls to elect a president and at the moment it’s hard to tell what will happen. It seems less than certain that President Obama will win re-election and the republicans are still fighting it out to see who will be nominated to run.

To be honest, I wish I could vote for none of the above. President Obama seems like a really nice guy and I really believe he means well, but I think he’s in way over his head. It’s hard to imagine how a guy who’s never met a payroll has been handed the keys to the most powerful kingdom in the history of the world. I wouldn’t say things are all his fault, but he doesn’t seem to be making any great strides in making things better either. 

As far as the republicans go, the entire group that’s trying to get the nomination make me wish for more. Each of the front runners, Gingrich, Romney, Perry, and Cain seem each be tools of varying degrees. Herman Cain sort of interested me until a procession of women had come out saying he harassed them. Despite some credibility issues, the more that jump on the band wagon, the harder it’s getting to believe he doesn’t have something to hide. 

I wish there was a candidate out there that was exciting and was able to really speak to the American people from the heart. Like usual, it seems like all the candidates can do is simply repeat talking points and say things they think people want to hear. Same old same old.

Congress is a joke, our budget is a disaster and it seems like the time is right for some true leader to emerge, but there is no such person on the horizon. I’ve been watching the candidates on the talk shows and reading things on the internet and frankly I can’t believe any of them has what it takes to do anything more than preside over the total dysfunction we are seeing now in our federal government. 

It’s hard to believe that in a country of 300+ million people these guys are the best we can find to lead us back to greatness.