Just Keep Swimming

Most of the time I’m upbeat, I see the good in things and people, and I try to see the lighter side of life.

Today isn’t one of those days. I rolled out of bed in a foul mood, more depressed than angry. I started to watch the news but had to turn it off after watching a story about a police officer being shot. The emotions of such an event simply overcame me. 

It is a beautiful day outside, so I headed out to mow the lawn and plant a tree. Usually the fresh air makes me feel better. No such luck. 

Ironically I had a great time last night going to the Rochester International Jazz festival. It is a week long event that really makes it worthwhile living in a crazy place like NY. Food, fun, music, people. It was all there, and I soaked up every minute of it. 

But that was last night. 

I don’t know what changed. Maybe I didn’t sleep well? Maybe I need to drink more water? Who knows. 

This happens from time to time. I’ve learned that sometimes the day wasn’t really meant for me, and it’s best to just ride it out and to do my best to put one foot in front of the other. Or as Dorie in Finding Nemo put it, “just keep swimming”.

Being human is a complicated game (for me at least). I know some folks who don’t seem to have a care in the world. I envy them!! (Although I suspect they have cares, they just don’t let us know.)

Oddly enough  my mood has led me to be fairly productive already today, so I guess that’s not a bad thing. 

But I still wish there were day’s when I could detach my head or my heart, put it on a shelf and give it a rest. 

On Father’s Day

Every year before Father’s Day I tell my kids not to get me anything. I imagine many father’s do the same thing. Who needs another tie, or mug, or “World’s Greatest Dad” tshirt?

Like many holidays (Mother’s Day, Valentines Day, etc), Father’s day seems like a day made up by corporate America to squeeze some more money from our wallets.

Shouldn’t we be thankful for our dad’s every day? Shouldn’t we tell our dad’s we appreciate them more than once a year? And most importantly, shouldn’t we actually tell them, rather than just throwing a card written by someone else and a tie at them?

I tell my kids not to get me anything for Father’s Day not because I am trying to protest a rather silly holiday, but because all I really want from them is time.

As my kids are getting older, there seems to be less and less time to spend together, and that’s perfectly normal (in my opinion). I expect my kids to go into the world and do things. Sports, friends, music, whatever.

Live. Love. Do.

But that leaves less and less time to spend together. Not long ago they were 100% dependent on me, now they are more dependent on my wallet and my car.

Time is what I want. A day, or even a few hours to spend together doing something. Swimming, cooking out, walking the dog, playing a game. Whatever it is, it doesn’t matter to me.

The accumulation of “stuff” is great, and it’s the American way, but all I really want is the accumulation of experiences, time spent with the people I love, and the memories from them that I can enjoy for the rest of my life.

It’s easier to give a card and a tie. It’s easier to send a text or put something on Facebook.

But time is what matters, and I hope that I can pass that lesson along to my kids, for as much as I dislike Father’s Day as a holiday, I also see it as a chance to help my kids see an important truth and learn an important life lesson.

Accumulate experiences. Tell people who matter that they matter. Live, love, laugh. Our time here is short and it can end in an instant, and then it will be too late.

Haters will Hate

These are not my words, but after returning from a attempt by a hater to have me punished legally, I feel like it’s too important of a message not to share. 

Do big or important things and there will be haters. Do controversial things and there will be haters. Do good things and yes, there will probably still be haters. That’s how it is today and how it’s been for all of time.

The Stoic does two things when encountering hatred or ill opinion in others. They ask: Is this opinion inside my control? If there is a chance for influence or change this person’s opinion—with a conversation, with their actions, with a little more context or explanation—they take it. But if there isn’t, they accept this person as they are. They don’t hate a hater. They don’t throw more time after a lost cause. Our job is tough enough already. We don’t have time to think about what other people are thinking, even if it’s about us.