Peter Fountain

Month: March 2022

Life

It May Not Be Our Fault

Mar 28, 2022 by Pete

We’ve all been hurt at one time or another through no fault of our own.

Our parents were cruel or negligent. A spouse was abusive or uncaring. We were bullied or mistreated at school or in social circles.

Most of us have experienced deep pain at some point in our lives.

It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t right.

We didn’t deserve it. We didn’t ask for it.

We’ve been hurt, angry, frustrated, devastated, confused, shocked, broken, and possibly even suicidal.

How could someone hurt us like that?

What did we do to them?

How am I going to get through this?

Will the pain ever go away?

It’s perfectly natural to blame the people who hurt us, they deserve the blame. Fair is fair. If someone’s hurt you, they deserve to be held accountable.

If you’re lucky, they might apologize or even try to make amends.

But many times we are left to suffer with our pain, alone.

We’re left to (try) and make sense of it.

We’re left to try and heal and move on.

Many of us get stuck blaming other’s and never progress any further.

Getting stuck is perfectly understandable, staying stuck is not.

We cannot control what someone else does. The people who hurt us, hurt us. We can’t stop them.

But we can choose to heal.

We can choose to pick ourselves up and move forward.

No one can make that choice for us. Of course there may be people who can help us heal, but the responsibility for healing falls directly on us.

Is that fair?

Probably not. After all, we didn’t do anything to deserve this pain.

But fair doesn’t matter, healing does, and it starts with us taking responsibility for ourselves, our lives, our emotions, and our actions.

It’s easy to stay stuck blaming other people, hoping they will apologize or acknowledge what they’ve done.

But until we accept responsibility for healing ourselves, we will never find peace.

Read books, find a counselor, talk to friends, watch YouTube videos, meditate, whatever you need to do.

But first accept responsibility for your own journey.

Once you do, the healing begins.

Life

It Was Probably Obvious

Mar 23, 2022 by Pete

Growing up my dad always bought Girl Scout cookies from the parents of Girl Scouts in his office.

To be honest, it was one of my favorite times of the year, especially as all those orders started rolling in!

The best part of the girl scout cookie haul was that my dad often stashed some of the Thin Mints in the big freezer we kept in the basement.

I’m not sure if he thought he was hiding them, or if he just liked them frozen. Perhaps my mom didn’t want them in the freezer in the kitchen.

Whatever the case, every year there would be a healthy supply of Thin Mints in the basement freezer.

No big deal, right? Cookies in the basement freezer, who cares?

Well, as luck would have it, my bedroom was in the basement of our house (long story), and only about 10 feet from the magic freezer holding the precious Thin Mints.

I always figured that my dad bought so many boxes of cookies that he would never miss one or two, so during the night I’d walk over and grab a sleeve of delicious minty goodness.

It was the perfect crime. I was in the basement, everyone else was upstairs. No noise, no sneaking around, virtually no way to get caught (unless my dad started numbering the boxes).

I don’t know if my dad ever noticed, or cared that I took Thin Mints, but in my mind it was a great little caper!

To this day I keep boxes of Thin Mints in the freezer, and every time I go to grab one at night I feel just a little naughty as the memories of those days come flooding back.

business, real estate

My Sad Daily Ritual

Mar 13, 2022 by Pete

Among other things, I’m a real estate agent and as such, I check the MLS (multiple listing service) every morning so that I can keep track of what’s going on in the market.

When I first got my license three years ago, hopping in to the MLS every morning was something I really looked forward to. It was fun to see the new homes popping up, and even more fun to find something that my buyers might like.

But that fun is long gone.

It’s no secret that there is a very low inventory of homes for sale throughout the country, and especially here in Rochester. It’s shocking to look at the MLS and to see so few homes dotting the map.

Of course there are people putting a positive spin on it, especially those involved in the selling side of things, but for most, the reality of the housing market is sad, frustrating, maddening, and possibly even depressing.

For many folks, the housing market is just something to read about on the news, or something to speculate about when gathered with friends.

But for other’s it’s far more taxing.

We’ve been told that the American dream is to go to school, get a job, buy a house, raise a family, and live happily ever after.

Debating the reality (or sanity) of that dream is beyond the scope of this post, but for many people. buying their first house is a big deal.

At the moment, the path to buying any house, let alone your first house, is very difficult (although not impossible).

I clearly remember getting married and scraping together enough to buy our “starter” house. It was as struggle, but the day we were handed the keys was simply amazing!

In today’s market, I don’t know how we would have done that, at least not without several more years of saving money and waiting around.

Not too long ago, one selling point for businesses trying to attract talent was housing costs. While some area’s of the country have outrageous housing prices, Rochester was always known for reasonable prices, getting a decent house at a fair price was fairly common.

At the moment, those days are gone. Prices are crazy to say the least. One has to wonder if that will make it more difficult to attract workers to the area.

Of course there are lots or other situations and stories and all that, again far too many for the scope of this post.

Whereas I used to look forward to my morning trip through the MLS, I find myself having to force myself to log in every morning. I know what’s waiting for me on the other side of that login screen, and many mornings I don’t really want to see it.

But I do log in. I do continue to send homes to my buyer’s while encouraging them to keep looking.

I continue to prepare my buyers so that they are well positioned to make an offer when they do find something they like.

Most importantly, I encourage everyone to focus on what they can control, and to let the rest go.

It’s easy to bitch and complain. It’s easy to give up. It’s easy to become negative and bitter.

I remind myself of that every morning! I have a choice!

I don’t know if the market will turn around. I have no clue what interest rates will do. I don’t know if we are in a bubble.

I don’t really care. I can’t control those things.

Instead I focus on checking the MLS every morning, helping my folks prepare to make the best offers possible, and to keep spreading a positive message.

Just because something is hard or takes time doesn’t mean it’s not worth doing.