Tonight on the local news there was a brief segment describing how Facebook is destroying marriages by making it too easy for people to reconnect with old flames. Reconnecting with lost friends is obviously very easy and I can see how it would be attractive for someone in an unhappy relationship might long for the good old days.

While I can see how Facebook can provide a means for people to communicate more easily with old friends, I cannot see how Facebook (or any such media) can be blamed for people’s inability to control their behavior. While someone can certainly find and old friend on Facebook, it is a long way from friending them to actually making physical contact. If someone is inclined to leave their spouse, does it really matter if Facebook, Craigslist, or the local bar is the mechanism the cheater chooses to fulfill their needs?  

What bothers me most is that as a society we seem to be constantly finding new ways to absolve people of personal responsibility for their behavior. If you are in an unhappy situation in your current relationship and you track down an old flame on Facebook and then continue that relationship, you are responsible for cheating on your partner. Facebook is not responsible. 

Maybe media like Facebook and Twitter and the like are still so new that people don’t know how to behave responsibly with them. I am inclined to believe that a cheating spouse will cheat, Facebook or not. 

I’m guessing the station that broadcast this segment were just looking for a story that will draw more eyes, so there’s no way to know if lots of people are using Facebook to cheat on their partners or if this is just something someone in the newsroom heard or thought of.  I’m sure it must be happening and it makes perfect sense, but Facebook is no more responsible for cheating spouses than a gun is for killing a person. It all boils down to people and their behavior. 

It seems foolish to condemn the tools that morally bankrupt people use to conduct their business.